Heineken brings out the big guns

Today in Montreal we shall see a great conspiracy unveiled like the maniacal plan of a James Bond villain – or in this case Bernie Ecclestone, for whom comparisons with a caricatured criminal mastermind are an occupational hazard.

The ingredients are all in place and one thing which can confidently be expected is that Heineken will announce the role it will play in Formula 1 from 2017 onwards – for the announcement will be the opening act of this year’s Canadian Grand Prix.

But there are also many fine old brands familiar to S&G regulars that are bobbing about on Bernie’s duck pond and about to form a nice neat row. For the time being, however, they’re doing a very good job of keeping themselves out of the spotlight until it’s time for the ‘big reveal’.

Heineken likes to present itself as a premium product. It conjures this image through an association with rugby and an 18-year partnership with the James Bond movie franchise. To this portfolio it will also be adding Formula 1.

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The art of product placement: James Bond is offered a Heineken

At this point the conspiracy kicks in – and it’s a belter. As protagonists we have two of the marques favoured by Ian Fleming – namely Aston Martin and Alfa Romeo – we also have TAG Heuer watches and, to cap it all, we have ‘Ernst Stavro’ Mateschitz, the reclusive mastermind behind Red Bull who may or may not sit around in his alpine lodge stroking a white cat.

There is a degree of consensus that Heineken will be shovelling hundreds of millions of dollars into Bernie’s retirement fund and using its savvy at creating upmarket online adverts (that’s ‘content’ to those in the trade), to underline the message that its beer is sipped by men of wealth and taste.

Formula 1 is wilfully rubbish at ‘content’, so having someone else do it and pay handsomely for the privilege looks like another of Bernie’s brilliant deals.

But while hanging some banners on the Hangar Straight and Curva Grande is nice, and putting your logo in the corner of all F1’s youtube clips has a value, there is nothing quite like having your branding on the car that crosses the line first. Just ask Red Bull.

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(Not) seen inside the Red Bull headquarters, yesterday.

The Austrian energy drink firm currently owns the commercial rights to the FIA World Rally Championship, drawing viewers onto Red Bull’s TV channels and websites while also selling footage to broadcasters the world over. Its logo can be seen on inflatable gantries and mud-spattered hoardings along the route but just in case that’s all a bit subtle Red Bull is also the sponsor of Volkswagen Motorsport, which wins everything.

So does this mean that Heineken is following suit and sponsoring the winning team? No… but there is a link to one particular motor manufacturer and James Bond affiliated brand that is currently dabbling in Grand Prix racing: Aston Martin.

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Aston Martin made its name in motor sport – here at the 1922 Grand Prix

This year, the Red Bull Racing F1 team (them again!) joined forces with Aston in an ‘innovation partnership’ (a phrase beloved of those who create ‘content’). What Aston brings to the party is a bit of a mystery as Red Bull’s engines are made by Renault and funded by the TAG Heuer watch company, resulting in a pair of Red Bull TAG Heuers on the grid which are innovatively partnered with Newport Pagnell’s finest.

Presumably it all makes sense to someone out there.

Meanwhile our fellow WordPress dweller, F1 insider and all-round decent egg Joe Saward was presented with a 007 baseball cap by Aston Martin and instructed to wear it in Montreal this weekend. So we have the trinity of Heineken, Aston Martin and James Bond uniting in a city full of beautiful women during a Formula 1 weekend and Joe’s clearly invited to the party.

All of this is intriguing enough but then we also have another S&G regular – and James Bond icon – barrelling into the frame: Alfa Romeo.

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Nuvolari raced Alfas with Ferrari badges. Now the situation is reversed.

Alfa is of course under the Fiat Chrysler banner and a close relation of Ferrari, which ran the elder firm’s racing programme from 1933-38. Sporting success has been a bit thin on the ground since 1951 (touring cars aside), but Alfa remains the romantic’s alternative to German executive cars and it has also provided many of the vehicles in which James Bond blows up villainous henchmen in recent films.

Now, however, Fiat and Ferrari CEO Sergio Marchionne has said that he wants Alfa Romeo back at the sharp end of motorsport. He came close to negotiating a deal with Red Bull to run Alfa Romeo-branded Ferrari engines last year and the Alfa badge is now resplendent upon the flanks of Ferrari’s Formula 1 cars.

Marchionne’s eagerness to bring Alfa back to Formula 1 could also be helpful for ‘Enrst Stavro’ Mateschitz, who not only owns the World Rally Championship, a broadcast network and a Formula 1 team with TAG Heuer branded Renault engines but also Scuderia Toro Rosso – a second Formula 1 team which, having formerly been Minardi, is based at Faenza, a stone’s throw from Maranello.

It seems that Mateschitz feels that two Formula 1 teams might be a little excessive in the current economic climate and is keen to sell his Italian stable at the right price. To Aston Martin? To Alfa Romeo? To Heineken? To Joe Saward? It’s a mystery worthy of Fleming’s finest.

And then, for the final layer on this cake of conundrums, we have James Bond himself. A new film is in the offing and there may well be a new actor playing the hero of the franchise because Daniel Craig has grown jaded with blowing up Alfa Romeos full of henchmen, rolling around with luxuriously upholstered Latin women and crashing Aston Martins. He wants to spend more time at home with the missus… and when the lady in question is Rachel Weisz it’s an understandable argument.

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Aston Martin and Alfa Romeo have been 007 mainstays of late

The last four Bond films were a cycle and a fresh start beckons. Something called a Tom Higgledypiggledy is apparently the hot tip for the job, having starred in an adaptation of a spy novel by John le Carré which involved him rolling around in a bathroom with a beautiful woman. There is also a new James Bond novel which features a fictitious 1957 Formula 1 season… an idea that the S&G once suggested in no uncertain terms to the Bond estate. The swine.

So where does all of this leave us? Heineken is making an announcement, Aston Martin has handed out the invites, Red Bull is everywhere and Alfa Romeo wants in. Perhaps a new James Bond will be announced and the new movie will feature him in a Heineken green Red Bull-Aston Martin blowing up henchmen one at a time in a fleet of Minardi-Alfas.

The plot is a bit convoluted and could do with a decent script editor but the good news for S&G regulars is that one way or another two of the most valued marques in motor sport history could yet be preparing their return to the fray – and we’ll all raise a bottle of Heineken to that.

Cheers!

 

A Girl at Brooklands

Brooklands Test Hill, February 2013

Brooklands Test Hill, February 2013

“If there was one thing that set James Bond really moving in life, with the exception of gun-play, it was being passed at speed by a pretty girl; and it was his experience that girls who drove competitively like that were always pretty – and exciting.”

Ian Fleming, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1963)

You can fly like 007!

Original artwork for the cover of Diamonds Are Forever

Original artwork for the cover of Diamonds Are Forever

It’s a seminal passage from Ian Fleming’s fourth James Bond adventure, Diamonds Are Forever, when 007 and the glamorous criminal Miss Tiffany Case board the opulent Boeing 377 Stratocruiser for BOAC Monarch Flight 505 and their transatlantic journey from London Airport to New York’s Idlewild, with a stopover at Shannon Airport in Ireland.

Although the Stratocruiser – developed from the B-29 bomber that dropped atomic reapons on Hiroshima and Nagasaki – had an unenviable record when it came to flight safety, it offered passengers like Fleming a five-star experience. Within its porcine airframe the Stratocruiser had plenty of room and a downstairs cocktail bar – both of which would doubtless have been appreciated by the tall Englishman with the cruel, lidded eyes as he brandished his cigarette holder towards an engaging brunette.

Cutaway of the Stratocruiser - Fleming's home from home

Cutaway of the Stratocruiser – Fleming’s home from home

Indeed, so much did Fleming enjoy taking the Stratocruiser instead of more modern and convenient jet aircraft that his description of the flight is perfect down to the last minute. A recent academic study took Fleming’s description of the positions of the sun each time a landmark slips by beneath the wing and compared it to an accurate calculation of time zones, British Summertime and air speed of the Stratocruiser taken against the prevailing westerly winds. From this, it is clear that he was describing the 08:15 scheduled flight in mid- to late-July!

Back then the old Stratocruiser lumbered along taking 16 hours 31 minutes from London to New York. British Airways has now revived the route – including the Shannon stop – for its exclusive Club World flights, taking much less time than Fleming enjoyed but getting much the same ambience.

Because these ‘business class specials’ fly out from London City Airport, the runway is too short for a fully-laden Airbus A318 to take off with sufficient fuel for a transatlantic crossing. Thus the stop for a top-up at Shannon, which also allows passengers to fill out their US Immigration requirements and enjoy an unflustered arrival in the USA as domestic passengers.

Of course Fleming’s old BOAC Monarch flights of the 1950s, which this new service aims to replicate, came from the days before supersonic air travel shrank the Atlantic to a puddle. Transatlantic flying has regressed in so many ways since Concorde was prematurely retired – although the little Airbus A310 lacks any of the grandeur that 007 and Tiffany Case enjoyed. Today it is impossible to enjoy a cigarette on board and there is no cocktail lounge below decks, but it is possible to go online at a cost of £6 per MB or to use your mobile phone at a tariff of £1.99/£1.47 to make/receive.

The BOAC cocktail lounge, 1948

The BOAC cocktail lounge, 1948

The British Airways A318 'executive express'

The British Airways A318 ‘executive express’

Nevertheless, if I were in the company of a beautiful diamond smuggler, there’s only one way that I would accompany her to New York!

The name’s Bond…

Life evokes art... Fleming in a Bentley

Life evokes art… Fleming in a Bentley

If you enjoy The Scarf & Goggles Social Club then it’s highly likely that you enjoy the books of Ian Fleming. Of course, since the first four movies – Dr. No, From Russia With Love, Goldfinger and Thunderball – Fleming’s 007 has existed in a separate universe from his cinematic namesake. More’s the pity.

Fleming ensured that the literary Bond drives Bentleys, and although his pre-war car was written off in the novel Moonraker while in pursuit of Sir Hugo Drax’s white Mercedes-Benz 300SL, it was evidently felt to be a suitable icon. That’s why this example was chosen – complete with the Amherst Villiers supercharger – by Life magazine when photographing Fleming. Splendid stuff.

It’s safe to say that if the Scarf & Goggles were a pub, Daniel Craig would have considerable difficulty in getting served!