The name’s Biswas. Mister Biswas.

It’s not often that ITV offers a nugget that really tickles the taste buds – particularly not in amongst the endless round of talking head documentaries that fill the Christmas schedules. For the record, whoever came up with the concept of showing a clip of a film/music video/gameshow and then have a Z-list nonentity describe what you’ve just seen with some wild-eyed embellishments needs to be shot.

Be that as it may, when ‘the nation’ selected its top 20 James Bond themes for an eponymous show (presumably that segment of the nation which shops at TK Max, drinks WKD and knows who any of the contestants on I’m a Celebrity… are), we were treated to an outing for Monty Norman’s first use of what would become his iconic Bond theme.

This was in fact a song from an unfinished musical adaptation of the novel A House for Mister Biswas, which was originally called Good Sign Bad Sign. If you can stand more than 74 seconds of it, you will have set a new record:

It is a spectacularly poor piece of work, you’ll undoubtedly agree, and it would have been a travesty if such a landmark novel as Mister Biswas were to have emerged with the sort of production values that went into this. All we can say at the S&G is thank goodness that Norman’s handiwork was given a final polish by John Barry, Vic Flick and his 1939 English Clifford Essex Paragon Deluxe guitar.

So let’s celebrate the masterpiece that was the opening credits to James Bond’s first on-screen adventure, featuring the John Barry/Vic Flick remix of Good Sign Bad Sign in its original glory, together with an awful lot of Caribbean goodness…